Wednesday, October 26, 2011

roll up your window, mom.

I cannot sing a note.  I can't even stand to hear my own voice with my own ears.  But it doesn't stop me from singing -at least when I am by myself or in front of my kids.  I have found that when things are tough I use music as a prayer, and a distraction. Why else would God give someone with such a disturbing singing voice such a desire to sing?  Everyone has had a time where they are driving down the road upset or confused or angry or  depressed and that PERFECT song comes on  that just speaks to you, that fills you with serenity or hope or happiness.

So it may seem that my perfect song lately would be a powerful ballad by Martina McBride or Sarah McLachlan.  I spent a lot of time listening to "Praise You in this Storm" by the Casting Crowns during Adeline's last journey with craniosynostosis. ( Blog Entry: My help comes from the Lord )  I was addicted to christian radio.  But this time the theme song is "I've got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy Down in My Heart"!  It's therapy for all of us - but sometimes it drives Nile crazy!  The part that really gets to me (even though it's sung in high-pitched children's voices) is "I've got the peace that passes understanding down in my heart". Because that is truly what I pray for now.

Philippians 4:6-8

6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
 8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

(I also found an awesome "adult" song that I found expressing the same message: Aaron Shust - My Hope is In You  But I don't have that in my car!)

Dr. Miller's office called on Friday to let us know that they have Adeline's surgery scheduled for December 9th.  I'm not sure why it only took 2 days to schedule - either the insurance company received all that they needed and approved it extremely fast (which I doubt) or the surgeons made an exception since Adeline is already a patient of theirs and they trust that our insurance will pay.  Either way, it helps having a date.  We can plan where we are staying, make arrangements for Nile, and prepare for the weeks following the hospital stay when Adeline will be at home recovering.  And it helps me to move forward and focus on the great possibility that this will all be over soon.  By this time next year Adeline's hair could be long enough to hide her scars again.  She will be a fun, curious and beautiful  TWO year old - with a rounder head!  And, most likely, with even more attitude!?!  I can't wait!

But until then I will be cranking up the car stereo, rocking out to track #15 on Nile's Sunday School Songs for Kids CD.  So what if I'm already embarrassing my children.

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